|
|
Adult Children of Alcoholics’
Characteristics
- We became isolated and afraid of people and
authority figures.
- We became approval seekers and lost our identity
in the process.
- We are frightened by angry people and any
personal criticism.
- We either became alcoholics, marry them, or
both, or find another compulsive personality such as
a workaholic to fulfill our fears of abandonment.
- We live life from the viewpoint of victims and
are attracted by that weakness in our love,
friendship and career relationships.
- We have an over developed sense of
responsibility and it is easier for us to be
concerned with others rather than ourselves; this
enables us not to look too closely at our faults or
our responsibility to ourselves.
- We get guilt feelings when we stand up for
ourselves instead of giving in to others.
- We become addicted to excitement.
- We confuse love and pity and tend to “love”
people we can “pity” and “rescue.”
- We have stuffed our feelings from our traumatic
childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or
express our feelings because it hurts so much. This
includes our good feelings such as joy and
happiness. Our being out of touch with our feelings
is one of our basic denials.
- We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low
sense of self-esteem.
- We are dependent personalities who are terrified
of abandonment and will do anything to hold onto a
relationship in order not to experience painful
abandonment feelings which we received from living
with sick people who were never there emotionally
for us.
- Alcoholism is a family disease and we become
para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of
that disease even though we did not pick up the
drink.
- Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.
- Adult children of alcoholics guess at what
normal is.
- Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty in
following a project through from beginning to end.
- Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty
having fun.
- Adult children of alcoholics take themselves
very seriously.
- Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty
with intimate relationships.
- Adult children of alcoholics overreact to
changes over which they have no control.
- Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek
approval and affirmation.
- Adult children of alcoholics are super
responsible or super irresponsible.
- Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal
even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is
undeserved.
- Adult children of alcoholics tend to lock
themselves into a course of action without giving
serious consideration to alternative behaviors or
possible consequences. This impulsivity leads to
confusion, self-loathing and loss of control of
their environment. As a result, more energy is spent
cleaning up the mess than would have been spent had
the alternatives and consequences been examined in
the first place.
- Adult children of alcoholics do not appear to
have anymore or any fewer problems with their
sexuality than the general population.
- Adult children of alcoholics tend to look for
immediate as opposed to deferred gratification.
Public Domain |
|
