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Choices
By Sheila Leskinen
When I sat down to write today’s Newsletter I had
planned to write about boundaries but I kept thinking
about choices and how most ACOA’s never knew they had
choices as children and some still don’t in their adult
lives.
One of the things that happen when you grow up with
addiction is the “feeling” you don’t have any choice in
situations or matters and often times you didn’t. This
frequently turns into black or white thinking. This
shows up as rigidity in relationships.
It may come across to others as “wanting your own way”
in personal relationships and inflexibility in work
situations or maybe both in some situations.
Awareness is the beginning of realizing you do have
choices. Getting a new perspective is the next step. As
a child you maybe had to do things “their way or else,”
or there may have been fear of never getting what you
wanted. Today, unknowingly this can set in motion those
old reactions of “either/or thinking.”
The good news is now you can decide what is in your own
best interest. You are responsible and accountable for
your choices. Being willing to accept consequences are
part of the process and your freedom to be yourself.
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Yes, this could be scary. Change can be challenging. It
is not always easy to move out of our comfort zone, the
familiar way of doing things.
Choices, options, preferences—you have a right to decide
what is best for you!
As you continue to discover you do have choices, be
gentle with yourself—this is new information—strive for
clarity as you step into your own self care.
As for boundaries I will tackle that in an upcoming
Newsletter. Let me know what you would like to hear
about. Till next time, take good care of yourselves. You
deserve it!
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